Now I realize this is superficial, fangirlish, and a little on the obsessive side but I like to have fun when I write. These are also based solely on my own opinion. If you don’t like it, well honestly, I don’t care.

12. Kurt Busch – Now I don’t know how anyone can find this face attractive. I mean his ears stick out, his cheeks look make him look like a little packrat. Ever seen him when its raining? Then he’s a drowned packrat.

 

11. Denny Hamlin – Only two words can describe this picture: deranged psychopath. Sexy. Or not. Sometimes, he has this element of ugly cuteness but then others he looks like…well this:

 

10. Mark Martin – Ok, so he’s one of the greatest drivers of all time. Definitely one of my faves. I adore him but let’s face it, pointy nose, wrinkly skin, and that icky 50 year old 6 pack he’s got. It’s just kinda gross.

 

9. Brian Vickers – The dude looks like a leprechaun. Pointy ears, goofy grin and all. He’s sweet and soft spoken but the guy’s attractiveness level has just plummeted since his Garnier days in 2006. Can we please have Gillette Brian back? Kthnx.

 

8. Carl Edwards – I’m so going to get shanked for this but I don’t care. My blog, my opinions. I just don’t find this man all that good looking! He honestly looks like he could use some braces. And I say that with the greatest respect. I’ll give him this. He has very pretty eyes.

 

7. Jeff Gordon – Pretty eyes, nice facial features and looks downright sexy when he poses for Halston ads but he has NO LIPS. Just look!

 

6. Juan Pablo Montoya – Cute, short, angry little Hispanic man. Need I say more?

 

5. Kasey Kahne – He’s so precious and sweet, like a little China doll! Sometimes I wonder what a guy that’s so pretty is doing driving race cars! He could be a Backstreet Boy or a model.

 

4. Ryan Newman – Sure he’s a little chubby and one of his nicknames is No-Neck Newman, but he’s got the sweetest little smile! And his eyes dance when he laughs. He has a great personality and sense of humor. What’s not to love?

 

3. Greg Biffle – He may not be the most photogenic guy on the circuit, but he sure is good looking. With pretty, sparkling blue-grey eyes and a killer smile, the few photos of him that come out looking good are so worth it.

And could we lay aside the braces jokes for a few moments?

 

2. Jimmie Johnson – Except for a brief period of time where he grew out his beard and then proceeded to let several children all under the age of 10 shave his head, this man is one of the sexiest men I’ve ever seen. He really could use a brow wax though. Just sayin’.

Of course he cracks me up with his antics. I think if he hadn’t pissed me off in 2006 when he won the Daytona 500, I’d probably be a big fan.

 

1. Tony Stewart – Sexiest man in the Chase. And as you can see, it isn’t just looks I am going by here. A great personality also helps. I don’t care if he’s chubby, I kinda like them on the chubby side. Tony has chocolate brown eyes that could melt the polar ice caps and is basically one of the funniest men ever. Even if he is inclined to grab men’s behinds.

You, the people, have spoken, and I have answered. Here is what you wanted to see.

 

10. Rogaine and Kevin Harvick- 

 

Do I really need to elaborate?

9. Waffle House and Greg Biffle- Because, let’s face it, a Biffle sounds like something you’d order at a Waffle House.

8. Slim Fast and Tony Stewart- I love Tony but the man seems to have an up and down relationship with weight loss.

7. Aflac and Joey Logano- Yes I know they’re Carl’s sponsor but the way this kid’s been smackin the wall, he’s gunna need that insurance.

6. Trojan Condoms and Casey Mears- Because as cute as she is, we don’t need another one of these: 

5. Gillette and these guys-

4. InvisAlign and Brad Keselowski- Now I like the kid, don’t get me wrong, but he’s got a severe overbite that makes it kind of hard to take him really seriously when he’s on TV.

3. Burger King and Kasey Kahne- Because the boy needs to put on some weight.

2. Coppertone Sunscreen and Clint Bowyer- Have you ever noticed that this man can’t spend 5 minutes in the sun without his face becoming totally red?

1. Band-Aid and Jimmie Johnson- Ahh yeah, the man that surfs on golf carts and jams kitchen knives into his fingers. Way to go Jimmie. Way. To. Go.

*Thanks to Naomi for the Band-Aid suggestion*

You all know who I’m talking about. He’s got a lot going for him in the looks department but those brows have GOT to go. For the most part it looks like he takes care of himself but those eyebrows look like they belong on the forehead of Groucho Marx. You would think with his supermodel wife that he’d at least be able to pluck or even wax those babies.

 

What’s even worse is lately, he’s been sporting this half assed beard that’s something in between rugged mountain man and bum.

 

Do you remember Kevin Harvick’s fundraiser “Operation Wax Smoke”? I propose we have an “Operation Wax Eyebrows”. I mean just think of the money we could raise for charity if we were to wax Jimmie Johnson’s eyebrows and shave that ridiculous scruff off his face.

 

Who’s with me? Well if you’re still undecided, allow me to introduce Exhibit A into evidence:

 

And Exhibit B: