A few years back in what is now known as the NASCAR Nationwide series, someone captured a video of Tony Stewart making a interesting move on Kevin Harvick. And poor Kevin, he never saw it coming. I guess you have to be pretty comfortable with your manhood to pull this on Kevin Harvick.




And then there’s this. I’ll let the picture speak for itself, but no, Tony and Casey aren’t holding hands.

What happened during the Gatorade Duel edition of NASCAR Raceday didn’t help matters. During an on camera interview with racing legend, Bill Elliott, Tony walked right up behind him and smacked him on the butt.

I think, though, that this goes far beyond being secure in one’s manhood. It seems that Tony has a bit of a butt fetish. And apparently, men aren’t the only targets. Tony’s been rumored to have grabbed NASCAR pit reporter Wendy Venturini’s rear end as well.

Does he go too far?

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Over the years there has been a myriad of repulsive firesuits that some of our favorite drivers have been subject to wear. From Jeff Gordon’s original DuPont firesuit to Alan Kulwicki’s Hooters get up, fans and drivers have had to witness some of the worst of color combinations and poor design.

But you can’t really blame a driver for how bad (or good) they look in a firesuit. I mean come on, it isn’t their fault that the sponsor’s colors clash and look generally awful together. And think if they’re so unpleasing to our eyes, what must those drivers feel like that have to wear them week in and week out?

I’ve compiled a list of the worst firesuits of the 2009 season. And its so true that 2009 has been one of the worst seasons for firesuits. Believe it or not, there is a way to make even poor color combinations appear more aesthetically pleasing. It just seems that poor firesuit design is the culprit here.

So I present to you, in no particular order, my nominees for 2009’s Worst Firesuits:

Driver: Mark Martin
Car number: 5
Car make: Chevrolet
Car owner: Hendrick Motorsports
Sponsor: Kellogg’s, Car Quest
Secondary sponsors: Cheez-It, National Guard, GoDaddy.com

What’s wrong with this picture?: Who ever decided that a primarily red firesuit was even remotely flattering? It is actually really distracting and it could be considered a road hazard. Other drivers might stare a little too long, hypnotized by the bright colors and end up putting each other in the wall.

But Martin’s is nothing compared to…



Driver: David Ragan
Car number: 6
Car make: Ford
Car owner: Roush-Fenway Racing
Sponsor: UPS
Secondary sponsors: Valvoline, Oscar Meyer, Coca Cola

What’s wrong with this picture?: Simply everything. To start with, look at that shade of yellow. If the suit itself was primarily brown, it wouldn’t look so bad. Or even white with a little brown, like DJ’s former firesuit. But this, this is just completely inappropriate. And who’s brilliant idea was it to put swirly brown lines along his legs? Why don’t you just castrate him. I mean you’ve already removed enough of his masculinity by putting swirlies around his legs.




It could be worse, just look at…

Driver: Clint Bowyer
Car number: 33
Car make: Chevrolet
Car owner: Richard Childress Racing
Sponsor: Cheerios, Hamburger Helper
Secondary sponsors: BB&T, Penzoil, Shell, DirecTV

What’s wrong with this picture?: Just about everything. Pale yellow doesn’t go with Bowyer’s red skin. The designers attempted to redeem themselves with making the sleeves black but its hard to pull your eyes away from that muted yellow. Its not as if it wasn’t bad enough to look at it on the boxes of cereal, now we have to see it on Bowyer as well. Of course, this one is a slight step up from his 2008 BB&T Suit.

Yellow firesuits can be bad, as we have seen, but few can compete with…

Driver: Kyle “Shrub” Busch
Car number: 18
Car make: Toyota
Car owner: Joe Gibbs Racing
Sponsor: M&Ms, Pedigree
Secondary sponsors: NOS, Interstate Batteries

What’s wrong with this picture?: Besides the obvious? (kidding!) Brown, yellow and…red? I honestly don’t have a whole lot to say other than just “eww…”.


Well M&Ms are no match for…



Driver: Marcos “Kangaroo Meat” Ambrose
Car number: 47
Car make: Toyota
Car owner: JTG Daugherty Racing
Sponsor: (you ready for this? it’s a mouthful) Little Debbie, Kingsford, Clorox
Secondary sponsors: unsure

What’s wrong with this picture?: There aren’t enough words to say how awful this suit is. The color combinations are simply a crime and flames should be limited to the cars. Flames look cool on cars, not so much on arms and legs. Sorry Kangaroo Meat, but your handsome features cannot redeem you now.

Speaking of atrocious color combinations check out…


Driver: Kevin “Happy” Harvick
Car number: 29
Car make: Chevrolet
Car owner: Richard Childress Racing
Sponsor: Shell, Penzoil
Secondary sponsors: DirecTV, Rheem

What’s wrong with this picture?: When Harvick revealed his new sponsor in 2007, Tony Stewart hit the nail right on the head when he presented a photo-shopped picture of Harvick’s head superimposed onto the body of Ronald McDonald. McDonald’s clown outfit was adorned with Harvick’s sponsor logos. While it was amusing, it was a painfully accurate representation of what Harvick’s firesuit looks like. Now, in 2009, not much has changed in that suit. It is still one of the ugliest eyesores on Pit Road this year.

Top Rivalries for 2009

Its that time of year again, you know when you start doodling little hearts on your school notebooks and sticky notes at work and penciling the words Daytona, NASCAR, and the names of your favorite drivers in the center of them. Ironic isn’t it how Daytona falls the day after Valentine’s day this year?

Well I have a list of a few boys who won’t be passing out chocolates and cards to each other this year. I present to you my predictions for the top NASCAR driver rivalries of 2009.

1. Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Kyle Busch. We know these two aren’t the best of friends and they don’t seem to want to patch things up either. I think that they’ll probably want to kill each other again this year. It’ll probably be on track scuffles though, I think that Shrub is probably a little too wimpy to get into a physical altercation with Dale Jr. and Junior is just too apathetic.

2. Tony Stewart and Denny Hamlin. It was clear to see that even while teammates, their relationship was strained. Denny’s a hotheaded idiot and Tony’s not much better. Denny has been known to trash talk his stubborn teammate and Tony has never been known to take a verbal beating. I think I can safely assure you that now that they aren’t teammates, they won’t be so civil to one another.

3. Kevin Harvick and Carl Edwards. After their little confrontation in the garage after the fall race at Lowes Motor Speedway, the pair said they’d talked and patched things up but Kevin Harvick can hold a grudge. I really don’t think that they’re all nice and friendly now even though they may be forced to be civil to each other for the media.

4. Kasey Kahne and the security guy. That one will come back to haunt him, for sure.